6 Reasons You’ll Feel 50x More Awesome Wearing Your Old Varsity Jacket

I could honestly write 6,000 reasons, but I’ll leave it at six.

Why am I writing about this? Blame the absurd Texas weather this time of year.

After a recent string of days in the 80s I threw my hoodies and most of my long sleeve stuff back into a storage bin and put it on the top of my closet.

The next day it was 41 degrees outside and when I went to walk the dog, the only jacket I had hanging in my closet was the only one too old and bulky to fold up into a storage bin:

My vintage 1996 Northern Highlands High School Varsity Jacket, featuring the unique combination of both swimming and football patches.

To this day, I have not seen a varsity jacket with a swimmer on it AND a patch that says ‘fullback’. This is a very inside joke, but yes, I’m the only one that can do that … Moving on…

So I grabbed the jacket, threw it on and I was instantly 50x more awesome than I was without it. Here’s why:

Putting on a varsity jacket as an almost 40-year old is about as close as you’re going to get to unzipping your current self and stepping into your 18-year-old self. You know that feeling… The one where the only thing that matters is the next few hours and you know you have your entire adult life ahead of you to do whatever you want but all you need to do for the next few hours is rip on your buddies and eat fast food.

You LOOK kind of like how you used to look. Yeah, my posture kind of sucks now, but other than that, from about forty feet away I think I could still pass for my 18-year-old self. Or at least my 22-year-old self. Up close, no way, but still, I’ll take a few minutes in the way-back machine.

Is this what it feels like when Iron Man gears up in his suit? Well, it’s probably the closest a shmuck like me is going to get. Buttoning up your varsity jacket brings back the old invincible mindset I used to have when I put this thing on… I’m not joking… For a few seconds, I felt twenty years younger. Suddenly, my left knee stopped hurting and I could devour $15 of Taco Bell and then play basketball for nine hours straight and then go out all night.

They can conceal anything. Am I wearing a bulletproof vest under this thing? Maybe? Maybe not? You don’t know. I could have a bazooka under here and you wouldn’t know. These things are baggy as hell.

It confuses people and starts awesome conversations about your high school glory days. Also, anyone who stops you who had a similar high school experience will immediately wonder where their jacket is and go dig it up when they get home to try it on. Then they’ll reflect on their athletic peak like you did and the cycle of great memories continues. Word to Al Bundy.

No matter who you are. No matter your body type or what you look like. You will automatically look exponentially more dope with a varsity jacket. It’s a proven fact backed by years of double-blind, placebo controlled scientific studies.

Don’t believe me? Go put yours on right now.

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