With the average life expectancy in the United States pushing 80 years, picking the wrong name for your kid could turn out to be an eight-decade mistake. Think about that. In eighty years you’ll be dead; the house you lived in, the cars you drove, the clothes you wore will probably all be recycled, rebuilt or destroyed; but your son, who is now living in an old-age facility in 2091, has to go by the name Mason S., because Mason A., Mason G., Mason L. and Mason P. live on the same floor in his retirement home, and they were all born in 2011 and also had parents who went the unoriginal route and simply picked the trendiest name available.

Mason is a solid name. In fact, I have long held that for boys, any son named after one of Steven Seagal’s movie characters is a good thing: In addition to Mason (from Hard to Kill), I also wholeheartedly endorse names like Nico (Above the Law), Gino Felino (Out for Justice), Casey (Under Siege) … and Austin, Wesley, Roland and Simon from movies you’ve probably never seen. Astonishingly, Seagal has played a character named some version of Jack or John in 10 movies (including Jack, Jake, Jacob, John and Jonathan), which makes up about one-third of his filmography and clearly accounts for the popularity of those names. But when it comes to your kid in 2011, unless you have always loved Mason, or you are named Mason (or work as a mason) and your son is going to be a Mason Junior or a mason, the name is just too popular.

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