Category Archives: Blog

Public Relations Pain & Gain & Derek Rose

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The phrase “Derek Rose’s brother said” should have never entered the sports lexicon. Derek Rose has a website (www.drosehoops.com). Derek Rose has a blog. He has a Twitter handle, a Facebook page, a YouTube channel… He has so many ways to communicate that if he wanted to make an announcement about his playing status in Chicago, it might take more time to decide the proper social media channel to use than it would take to type the words: “I’m back”.

But he hasn’t typed those words and he hasn’t said those words. Instead, “Derek Rose’s brother said” popped back into the sports world. What “Derek Rose’s brother said” is irrelevant when D-Rose’s voice isn’t injured. Nor are his fingers (for typing) last we checked. If he wants to say something, he’ll say something. If he wants to play, he’ll play.

The speculation about what his teammates think (nobody will criticize the cornerstone of the franchise publicly), what management thinks (see last parenthesis) and what the coach thinks (obviously, he’d enjoy having the former MVP back on the floor) doesn’t matter. All that matters is that somehow D-Rose ended up in a situation where, unless he comes back and takes Chicago to a title, he loses.

Whether or not he is pain free from his injury isn’t the issue anymore. The issue is that he has nothing to gain by playing now. If he plays, it’ll look like he was pressured to play. If he comes back and doesn’t play well, it’ll look like he came back too early. If he plays and is excellent, people will wonder why he came back so late. Anything short of a miraculous playoff run and he loses.

It didn’t have to be this way…

Early on, he said it would be up to the doctors when he returned. The first question still posted on a Q&A on his website (from a long time ago) still deals with this issue. Here it is:

Question:

Hey Mr. Rose, I’m a Filipino and a huge fan of yours. I just want to ask you this question, when do you think you’ll come back?

Answer:

I really don’t know yet. It’s ultimately up the doctors to tell me that I’m 100% healthy. I’m working very hard though, and my knee is doing well, so I can’t wait until I’m able to get back out there with my teammates.

Now we’re learning that it’s not up to the doctors. The doctors cleared him months ago. It’s up to Derek…and, for his own reasons, Derek isn’t ready. And if that’s fine with the Bulls and fine with his teammates and fine with him, then it should be fine with you…

The problem is, he should have been protected from this situation from the outset. If he never planned on playing, then his trainer or his doctor or a team representative or somebody should have simply issued the following statement: “Derek Rose will be out the remainder of the 2013 season through the playoffs. He is coming along as expected, but our staff has determined it would be best if he had the full off-season to recover. He’ll be back to start next year 100%.”

Those three sentences would have diffused this situation months ago. Instead, Derek said it was up to the doctors, and now the doctors are saying it’s up to Derek. And so now the fans are asking, “What’s up with Derek?”

But Derek doesn’t want to talk because for his own reasons, good or bad, he doesn’t want to play yet. That’s his choice, but then that leaves everyone else with: “Derek Rose’s brother said”… Which is lame.images

March Sadness: Why the First Four Tourney Games Are Lame (and 4 ideas to make them better)

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Thinking your team qualified for the NCAA Tournament, only to find out they’ve earned a spot in a play-in game, is like being told your team is headed to the World Series, but then you discover they’ve actually won a spot in a stick ball game in the parking lot.

It’s a scam, a flim-flam, a way of cheating teams into thinking they’re going to the big dance, when, in fact, they’ve only earned the right to a dance-off in the lobby with some other poor sap team who also thought they were in, but really weren’t.

Last week, after a near two-decade drought, I watched my alma mater, James Madison University, win the Colonial Athletic Conference Championship, and along with it, an automatic bid to the NCAA tournament – although the bid, as noted above, was not a true bid, rather it was just a bid to play for a bid, which is, to put it in the simplest terms, dumb. Here are four reasons why:

1) Conference champions who earn automatic bids should automatically be seeded in the top 64. Don’t let fans of schools in smaller conferences rush the court, let coaches talk about how it’s been a dream to get to the tourney, and let fan bases spend a week wondering if maybe, just maybe, their squad will be the first 16 to knock off a 1, or one of the few 15s or 14s to win, only to deflate the entire fan base by putting them in a play-in game against a school they’ve never heard of, which leads me to…

2) Know what’s worse than watching a college basketball game that includes a team you don’t know anything about? A college basketball game where you don’t know anything about either team, where there’s no history between either team, and where the players/fans are heading into it already disappointed. If we have to keep the play-in games, then why not co-opt the four smallest conference tournaments like this…

3) I’m not saying this is the best idea, but it’s an idea: Whatever we decide the four smallest, least powerful conferences are, we should assign each of them a 16 seed right out of the gate, then let that conference play for the 16 seed in one of the four regions. This would make each of the finals in those conference tournaments de facto play-in games that actually matter, because not only is the conference title on the line, but a real NCAA tournament bid is on the line as well. But what about the play-in games? Glad you asked…

4) Rather than letting teams think they made the tournament only to discover that they aren’t quite there yet, why not put together a quick 4 team Bubble Bracket Tournament. These could be the proverbial best four teams who got screwed out of a NCAA Tourney bid. Usually, there are several big name programs among them, which would ensure ratings as well as solid story lines and big name coaches. These four teams would then play a two-day tournament, with the winning team earning an 8 or 10 seed (we just save one spot in one region for this team). Now we have the same 68 teams, but with some real excitement involved.

Agree? Disagree? Think I’m an idiot? Let’s go Duke Dogs.

Tweet me at: @Jon_Finkel

Weeknight at Burnie’s – My Evening as a Mascot for the Reigning NBA Champion Miami Heat

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Weeknight at Burnie’s – My Evening as a Mascot for the Reigning NBA Champion Miami Heat for Yahoo! Sports’ ThePostGame.com

Did Doc Rivers Rip Off Rocky Balboa?

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My hometown Boston Celtics got a huge win against the Miami Heat last night. When asked how they won, Celtics Coach Doc Rivers gave what seemed like an off-the-cuff answer, but it turns out he may have had Rocky Balboa on his mind. As a fan of both the Celtics and Rocky, I think it’s fantastic. Few theme songs have been used more in the world of sports than the original Rocky theme and Eye of the Tiger, however, it’s rare to hear a coach parrot a line so close to one of the films. It’s not an exact quote, of course, but it’s in the ballpark. Am I stretching here? Probably. Is it awesome? Definitely. You be the judge:

“They just kept throwing punches at us,” Celtics coach Doc Rivers told reporters after the game. “We withstood them and kept moving forward. I thought that was important for our team.” – Doc Rivers after the Celtics beat the Miami Heat 4/10/12 (courtesy of the Boston Globe)

“…But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!” Rocky Balboa to Rocky Jr. in Rocky Balboa 2006

Hijacking Facebook Comments with The Humor Columnist

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Facebook comments on someone’s page are usually just that: comments. But what happens when you take that comment section and turn it into a live, online forum for an interview between two writers? Well, there’s no mystery here… You end up with an interview between two writers. In this particular case, a damn funny one.

Below this paragraph you’ll find a link to Joe Donatelli’s The Humor Columnist blog and on the front page, you’ll find our interview. Joe was kind enough to interview me about my book, and in the process, we covered some topics that loyal Three Dollar Scholar readers will thoroughly enjoy: why cats are terrible, why if a drink contains alcohol people think it becomes a viable name for an animal, and we even invented a new game: whittling magazines down to a single tweet… If you want to laugh and think, click on the icon below to laugh and head to Scientific American or Popular Mechanic’s websites to think. What, you thought we were capable of making you do both? Really? Enjoy:

TWO COMMON FREELANCE WRITING MISTAKES

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Fellow Writers, Avoid these two catastrophic mistakes when handing in a writing submission:

Okay, catastrophic is a strong word, but if you’re a writer, you rely on words to make rent, and if your words aren’t selling, well, having to live under a bridge and eat at a homeless shelter can be catastrophic (though, admittedly, this is a worst case scenario). Moving on…

I’ve been reviewing writing samples for a new project I’m working on. As expected, 25% of the submissions can be thrown out immediately and another 25% are pretty good. The rest fall into that murky area where as an editor, you need to decide if the good idea outweighs the poor writing or the poor idea outweighs the good writing. Some samples get deleted right away, others get put into the “maybe for a future assignment” folder, and the very few excellent submissions are responded to.

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ROCK & FAT ROLLS: What’s with Musicians Adding “Big” and “Heavy” to Their Names?

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If Beethoven were trying to make it in the music business today, his agent would probably insist that he perform under the name Large Ludwig. Likewise, Chopin’s stage name might be Fat Frederic. Mozart could be forced to go by Wide Wolfgang. Don’t believe me?

Ever hear of the rapper Thin Joe or the rap group The Skinny Boys? How about the rapper/actor Light D? No? That’s because when it comes to modern-day Billboard chart-toppers, thin is definitely not in. How else to explain the glut of musician and band names that hint at hugeness? Would Big Bad Voodoo Daddy sell as many albums if they were known as Gaunt Good Voodoo Daddy? Would Big Pun’s Capital Punishment album have gone platinum if he went by Little Pun? Would Meat Loaf be a rock legend if he were called Veggie Loaf?

We don’t know the answers to these questions, but we do know that this trend toward gluttonous-sounding names began early in the 20th century. Reportedly, the first man to adopt the mega-sounding moniker was Thomas Wright Waller, born in 1904 in New York City. His mother played the piano and encouraged him to start tickling the ivories at age six. Shortly after his lessons were under way a physical transformation began and, as his talent grew, so did his waistline. Soon, the portly prodigy outgrew even his own name and Thomas Wright Waller became Fats Waller, one of the greatest jazz pianists of all time. (Ironically, one of his first hits was “Muscle Shoals Blues.”)

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The Worst Interview with Arnold Schwarzenegger of All Time (courtesy of yours truly)

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In honor of the Arnold Classic bodybuilding show taking place this weekend in Columbus, Ohio, I thought I’d take a moment to revisit what should have been a career highlight: my on-camera interview with the man himself, Arnold Schwarzenegger.

The interview took place at the 60th anniversary photo shoot for the cover of Muscle & Fitness a few years ago. If you had any doubt that it was a big day, those doubts will instantly vanish because I’m 1) wearing a button down shirt, and 2) it’s tucked in. If you know me at all, you know those are two of my least favorite things.

At the time, Arnold was the Governor of California, so a veritable S.W.A.T. team showed up about an hour before his arrival to sweep the studio for bombs. I don’t have Total Recall of the morning (nice, right?) but I’m pretty sure Arnold was running very late, and since he was, and my interview was the last thing scheduled, I was confident that his staff would Terminate it (sorry, couldn’t resist).

As the shoot dragged on, the only thing I paid attention to was the clock. I know this was a big deal for the magazine, but it was a HUGE deal for me. I was going to get to interview the greatest action hero of all time. One on one. On video. Sadly, time seemed to fly by and eventually I had resigned myself to the fact that there was no way we were going to have time for our interview. Important looking men in suits who spoke into microphones attached to their cuff links seemed to want to yank Arnold out of there the moment the last shot was taken.

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Forget Linsanity – Loginsanity is a Bigger Story

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If websites were doors, and you needed an actual key instead of a password to get in, my keychain would weigh more than a full grown Maltese. It’d make the most hardened janitor in the biggest skyscraper cringe. Even the warden from Shawshank would be jealous.

Between e-mail, fantasy sports, Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, Netflix, Amazon, WordPress, online shopping, online gaming, banking, car payments and whatever else you sign in to do online, remembering the usernames and passwords to all your favorite websites now takes as much brainpower as trying to memorize all the digits of Pi.

The average person will log in and out of 15 websites each day (this stat is made up, but it has to be close). Yes, you can set your PC or Mac to remember your passwords, but the average person spends up to 60% of his online computer time away from their personal computer (again made up, but it’s in the ballpark I think). The time spent typing in the site name, then the different usernames, then the passwords for those sites, and remembering the different passwords is time that we would all like back.

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